Ramirez Diagnosed With Multiple Personality Disorder
Santo Domingo, DR (Calapai Report Wire Services) - Sources inside the Dominican Republic's Ministry of Sport have confirmed that Boston Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez has been diagnosed with Multple Personality Disorder.
It is believed that this is the cause of his frequent "trade me"/"I want to stay" requests.
Anonymous sources close to the Red Sox confirmed the report.
"Yeah, we knew about it," said a free agent first baseman who would only identify himself as Cowboy. "That's why we would be all excited and say 'Hey, it's just Manny Being Manny.' Because when Manny was being, for example, Esmirelda, he couldn't hit for (excrement). But he, um, she, whatever, could cook a mean Kale Soup, though."