Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Dungy Angers Colts Fans By Not Calling Them "Best"

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Super Bowl winning coach Tony Dungy disappointeed legions of Indianapolis fans with his frank assessment of their place in the American sports heirarchy.

"I'm glad we could win this for you - the Indianapolis fans - among the Top 20 fan bases in the country, maybe even high teens!" Dungy said to a somewhat tepid response.

Quarterback Peyton Manning defended his coach.

"Hey, every year you hear every single coach and player tell their fans, 'You guys are the best fans in the world' - well, they can't ALL be Number One," Manning explained. "Logically, only one city can have the best fans in the world."

When asked what city he felt had the best fans in the world, Manning replied, "Indianapolis, of course. I'm not a moron."

When asked to elaborate, Dungy softened his stance.

"Oh, they're probably better than the Top 20, even high teens," said Dungy. "I mean, I was just ballparking and since the market is so small, I figured Top 20 would have been a compliment. But to say the best - well, that's just silly. I mean, we couldn't even fill up the RCA Dome but the Patriots shut down Boston and their fans line the streets - outdoors in the cold for the entire celebration, I might add - whenever they win the Super Bowl."

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(Due to financial constraints, we will occassionally devote some space to Mr. Peyton Manning to share his latest offers with you. Now that he is a Super Bowl MVP and he has never met a commerical he doesn't like, this will be a frequent segment.)

"Hi, I'm Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning, and when I'm attempting to murder my astronaught boyfriend's lover, I only use Pepper Johnson-brand pepper spray!"

A Pat On The Back

I don't mean to brag, but apparently someone in the NFL - or possibly Prince - is reading my stuff.

At Super Bowl XLI, the FAMU Marching Band was in the halftime show, something I called for a full year earlier.

Of course, my idea was to make them the centerpiece of the show, not some novelty sideshow to Prince. But hey, close enough.