Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Authorities Thwart Davis Plan To Nuke Oakland

WASHINGTON, DC - Federal authorities say they broke up a plan by Al Davis to launch a nuclear attack in the city of Oakland.

Sources say the Raiders owner saw the success the New Orleans Saints enjoyed after tragedy struck their city, and hoped to replicate that in Oakland.

"He's old and he doesn't have much time left," said a a government official. "Unfortunately, he doesn't have Drew Brees and Reggie Bush, either."

Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown said he was not alarmed.

"Are you kdding me?" asked Brown. "Three-quarters of our city's disaster preperation manual are devoted to Raiders-related catastrophes."