Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Newest Fenway Upgrades: Better Street People

BOSTON - On Opening Day at Fenway Park, Red Sox officials unveiled their latest plan to improve the ballpark experience, hiring Phil Collins and Joe Pesci to take over the roles of some of the homeless people frequently found around the ballpark.

"Focus group data indicate fans are more comfortable with homeless people they've seen in their favorite TV shows and movies, as opposed to homeless people they have no familiarity with," said Dr. Charles Steinberg, the Red Sox' Executive Vice President/Public Affairs.

Film star Pesci of "Goodfellas" and "My Cousin Vinny" fame, will be reprising his role as Simon Wilder, the "Harvard Bum" from the movie "With Honors."

Former "Genesis" drummer and solo artist Collins will be set up on the Mass Pike overpass playing drums on plastic buckets.

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